yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
