Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
