he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
