Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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