Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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