I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
