We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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