i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
