remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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