Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
