Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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