I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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