Are we in a gay sports bar?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
