I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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