Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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