just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
