you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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