the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
vagina is talking i cant
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
