I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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