so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
