I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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