wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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