what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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