I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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