everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
