I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
