haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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