The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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