Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
