Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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