its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
It was confusing and full of hummus
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
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But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
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Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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