why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
