You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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