I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Did I show you my penis last night?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
