Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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