By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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