just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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