dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
