i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
