hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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