I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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