if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize
