Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
