i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize