butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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