The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
