just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
