Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize