Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
