Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
