just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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