its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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