I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
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They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
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I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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