so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize