if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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