I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
