well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
