so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
