btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
birth control should be required to get into college
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
