this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
