dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
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