What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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