I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i think i have herpe
just one?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
